Craft Your Alter Ego

We are all Severed

Are you tired of being excited to start projects, only to watch your motivation die out along with your hopes and dreams? Do you feel disconnected from your deepest purpose? Do you dream of achieving that consistent drive that seems to come so effortlessly to others? You're not alone. The modern world seems designed to sever us from our "Why" and deepest purpose, pulling our attention in countless directions and leaving us feeling scattered and unfulfilled.

Think about the Apple TV+ series "Severance." Those characters have their personalities surgically divided between work and life. Who they are at work is an alter-ego dictated by work. It's fiction, but it's also a pretty accurate picture of what happens when outside forces – corporations, social expectations, and even our own self-doubt – start calling the shots. Instead of choosing our qualities, we end up with a persona that's forced on us.

Imagine instead living a life where your deepest "why" is actually what makes you tick. What if you could intentionally design the traits and habits that don't just make success possible, but practically guarantee it?

This is your guide to building an alter ego persona – a tool to unlock your potential, get consistent drive, and take control. We'll explore consciously crafting the traits you need and then give you some actionable steps to help bring this awesome version of yourself into reality.

Beyond Severance: Designing Your Identity

Most people stumble through life, letting circumstances and societal pressures mold them. They react instead of creating. Like the "severed" employees of Lumon Industries, they unknowingly allow external forces to define who they are.

Consider Mark from "Severance." His "innie" is trapped in a sterile office environment, performing meaningless tasks. This is what happens when you let life happen to you instead of intentionally shaping it.

But there's a better way.

Todd Herman, in "The Alter Ego Effect," introduces the idea of intentionally crafting an alter ego – a specific persona you embody to overcome limitations and achieve peak performance. Think of Beyoncé and her alter-ego persona "Sasha Fierce", or Kobe Bryant and the "Black Mamba." These are not simply masks; they're carefully constructed identities that unlock hidden potential.

Norma Jeane Mortenson could transform from an ordinary woman into the iconic Marilyn Monroe simply by shifting her body language and energy.

The advantage of this approach is clear: you take control. You decide who you want to be, what qualities you want to embody, and how you want to show up in the world. You are designing your identity.

By consciously choosing your persona, you tap into deep intrinsic motivation. You are no longer fighting against yourself; you are moving in concert with your designed self.

Consistency isn't just about willpower; it's also about alignment. When your actions are in harmony with your core values and your deepest "why," motivation becomes self-sustaining.

The key is to see your alter ego not as a separate entity, but as an enhanced version of your true self – the person you are meant to be.

Crafting Your Alter Ego: A Step-by-Step Guide

Ready to leave behind the passive existence of a "severed" employee and step into the empowered role of self-designer? In this guide, we're not just following Todd Herman's "Alter Ego Effect" – we're taking it to the next level. We're augmenting his powerful concept with Simon Sinek's "Start with Why" and the principle of curating your "Top Five" to create an even more powerful strategy for crafting your ideal self.

This is intentional life design at its finest, synthesizing the best elements from some of the leading techniques and thinkers. It starts with your core values and your "why," extending all the way to the people you surround yourself with in your daily life. Get ready to build a version of yourself that's grounded in purpose and supported by a carefully designed environment!

Step 1: Uncover Your "Why" (Source: Simon Sinek, Start with Why)

“If we want to feel an undying passion for our work, if we want to feel we are contributing to something bigger than ourselves, we all need to know our WHY.”
- Simon Sinek

• The Problem: Lack of clarity leads to scattered efforts and inconsistent motivation.

• The Idea: Your "why" is the driving force behind everything you do. When you connect with it, you tap into a wellspring of intrinsic motivation.

• The Process: Ask yourself: What truly matters to me? What impact do you want to have on the world? What legacy do you want to leave? Here are the simplified steps to "Find Your Why" as described by Simon Sinek:

  • Gather Your Stories: Think of 5-10 specific stories from your life and career that were significant, positive, and where you felt like you were at your best. These should be moments that stand out to you.

  • Share Your Stories: Tell these stories to a partner (someone who knows you well and can be objective). Focus on what happened, how you felt, and the impact you had.

  • Identify Themes: Your partner listens for recurring themes and patterns across your stories. They'll likely point out things you might not have noticed yourself. These themes often revolve around your actions, the impact you made, and the feelings you experienced.

  • Draft Your "Why" Statement: Based on the identified themes, work with your partner to formulate a concise statement that captures your core belief and your contribution. It should typically follow the format: "To [your contribution] so that [your impact]."

  • Test Your "Why": Share your "Why" statement with others and see if it resonates with them and feels authentic to you. Does it accurately reflect what drives you?

Famously, Steve Jobs articulated Apple’s “Why” and core values in his "Think Different" Campaign Presentation, on September 1997.

“We have to be really clear about who we are. Apple believes at its core that "People with passion can change the world for the better."“ - Steve Jobs

This clarity of vision gave birth to one of the most successful company turnarounds in history and one of the most successful marketing campaigns ever produced, Think different. "The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."

I strongly suggest reading Simon Sinek's Start With Why to really understand this. Your "Why" is the solid base you can build everything on.

Step 2: Define Your Alter Ego's Qualities (Source: Todd Herman, The Alter Ego Effect)

"It's not about faking it; it's about unlocking the best version of yourself." – Todd Herman

• The Problem: Vague goals lead to vague results.

• The Idea: Specificity is power. The more clearly you define your alter ego's qualities, the more effectively you can embody them.

• The Process:

  • Based on your “Why” Identify Your Specific Challenge or Goal: Pinpoint the exact situation, task, or goal where you want to perform better or overcome a specific obstacle. Be clear about what you want to achieve.

  • Determine the Needed Qualities: Ask yourself: "What specific traits, skills, or mindset would help me excel in this situation?" Think about the exact qualities that would enable you to overcome the challenge or achieve your goal. Examples include confidence, focus, creativity, resilience, or courage.

  • Find Your Inspiration: Think of characters (real or fictional), animals, or even objects that embody the qualities you identified in step 2. This could be a superhero known for their bravery, an athlete known for their focus, or even a calm and steady animal.

  • Define Your Alter Ego's Qualities: Based on your inspiration, clearly define the specific qualities your alter ego will possess. Be precise and descriptive. For example, instead of just "confidence," you might define it as "unwavering self-belief and the ability to speak my mind clearly."

  • Give Your Alter Ego a Name and Identity: Create a distinct name for your alter ego. This helps to separate it from your everyday self. You can also give it a brief backstory or visualize it in a specific way.

  • Choose a Trigger (Optional but Recommended): Select a physical item, gesture, or mental cue that will help you consciously step into the persona of your alter ego. This could be a piece of jewelry, a specific posture, a certain phrase, or even just a mental image.

In essence, you're consciously designing a version of yourself equipped with the exact qualities you need to life your “Why” and even succeed in specific situations by drawing inspiration from external sources and giving that version of you a distinct identity.

Step 3: Curate Your "Top Five" (Source: Jim Rohn)

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." – Jim Rohn

• The Problem: Your environment shapes you. If you surround yourself with negativity or mediocrity, you'll struggle to rise above it.

• The Idea: You are the average of the five people you associate with most. Intentionally curate your circle to include individuals who embody the qualities you aspire to.

• The Process:

  • Identify Your Current "Top Five": Think about the five people you spend the most time with, whether it's family, friends, colleagues, or even online interactions. Be honest about who occupies the majority of your time and mental energy.

  • Evaluate Their Influence: For each person in your "Top Five," ask yourself:

    • What qualities do they possess?

    • What are their habits and attitudes?

    • Do I admire their character and direction in life?

    • Am I becoming more like them?

  • Identify Those You Don't Want to Become Like: Recognize the individuals in your current "Top Five" (or even those you spend significant time with outside of this core group) whose qualities, habits, or overall outlook you actively don't want to emulate.

  • Strategically Limit Contact: Gradually reduce the amount of time and energy you invest in relationships with those you don't want to become like.

  • Identify Your Aspirations: Think about your “Why” and the qualities and characteristics you do want to develop. What kind of person do you aspire to be?

  • Seek Out Your Desired "Top Five": Actively look for and cultivate relationships with people who embody the qualities you admire and want to adopt. This could involve:

    • Joining new groups or communities aligned with your interests.

    • Attending events and workshops where you can meet like-minded individuals.

    • Seeking out mentors or role models.

    • Strengthening connections with people in your existing network who inspire you.

  • Invest in Positive Relationships: Consciously spend more time and energy with the people you want to become more like. Nurture these relationships and learn from their experiences and perspectives.

It's a conscious process of evaluating your close relationships, intentionally distancing yourself from negative influences, and actively seeking out and strengthening connections with people who inspire and uplift you towards your goals and desired personal growth.

Step 4: Embody Your Persona (Source: Amy Cuddy, Presence)

"Our bodies change our minds... and our minds change our behavior... and our behavior changes our outcomes." – Amy Cuddy

• The Problem: Knowing what to do is not enough; you must take action.

• The Idea: Physical embodiment reinforces mental transformation. When you change your behavior, you change your identity.

• The Process:

  • Start small. Choose one or two actions that your alter ego would take consistently.

  • Use physical anchors. Wear a specific item of clothing, adopt a particular posture, or use a power phrase to activate your persona.

  • Track your progress. Monitor your actions and celebrate your successes.

Step 5: Embrace the "Fun Factor" (Source: Mike Dooley, Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams)

"Thoughts become things. If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hand." – Mike Dooley

• The Problem: Overwork and grind culture lead to burnout and stagnation.

• The Idea: When you enjoy the process, you're more likely to stay consistent.

• The Process:

  • Ask yourself: "What if this were fun?" Find ways to make your work more enjoyable.

  • Incorporate play and creativity into your daily routine.

  • Celebrate your progress and reward yourself for your efforts.

Step 6: Remove the Ego (Source: Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy)

"Ego is the enemy of what you want and of what you have." – Ryan Holiday

• The Problem: Ego gets in the way and makes the work all about "me."

• The Idea: Focus on delivering value to others.

• The Process:

  • Practice egolessness and being willing to give selflessly.

  • Reframe and remove the "I" mentality and focus on contributing.

  • If we show up in service to others and work to deliver value to their lives, it's bigger than us. This is egoless.

  • Skip taking credit for the things you give, and stop seeking approval

Step 7: Integration (Source: Carl Jung, concept of Individuation)

"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." – Carl Jung

• The Problem: Separating your alter ego too much from your authentic self creates unsustainable tension.

• The Idea: The goal is not to become someone else, but to integrate the strengths of your alter ego into your whole self.

• The Process:

  • Reflect on how the qualities of your alter ego enhance your authentic self.

  • Gradually incorporate those qualities into your everyday life, without losing sight of who you are.

  • See your alter ego not as a temporary mask, but as a catalyst for personal growth.

Your Call to Action — Reintegration

So here's the deal: you now have a clear path to unlock that consistent drive you've been chasing. Don't let this newsletter be just another interesting read.

Begin the crucial work of Reintegration, bridging the gap between where you are and who you truly want to be. 

Choose one step from the guide above – just one – and take action on it today. Define your "why," identify your top five, or brainstorm your alter ego's qualities. The power to design your life is in your hands. This is your opportunity to build the version of yourself that's aligned with your deepest purpose.